Fingernails!

All sorts of plans are forming in my head. What colors should we paint the nursery for a boy or girl; what decorations, how to get the best deals on furniture and other baby necessities, etc. My most recent idea for decorating is Teddy Bears, for a while I wanted a Peter Rabbit theme (Beatrix Potter) but I think I like the teddy bear idea better. I ordered the cutest bear yesterday, the first thing I’ve bought for the baby. It’s a bear designed by the artist by Jim Shore, with Noah Ark on the belly. Amazon said it was the last one they had so of course I had to order it right away!

We decided on names for a boy or girl before we even became pregnant, Samuel or Rosetta but middle names are still up in the air.

We had our first OB appointment this past Friday. The doctor was recommended by a friend from church and we really liked him. He’s funny and creates a relaxing environment. A few things I liked,the doctors at the practice don’t share patients, which means my OB, Dr. Newman, will most likely be delivering my baby; he does 95% of his patients’ deliveries. Dr. Newman also made it clear he doesn’t do terminations; I had been hoping to find a doctor who didn’t. We didn’t hear the heart beat, but we did get a new ultra sound picture. Oh! We also got to see baby CJ move! It was incredible and made it all seem more real. Dr. Newman also informed us that because CJ is the appropriate size and has a good heartbeat, our risk of miscarriage is about %1, even though I’m still in the first trimester. You can imagine what a relief it was to hear that; I’d been counting down the weeks to the end of the first trimester (2 to go!)

I get e-mail updates every week about the baby and the new growth and development. As of yesterday I am 10 weeks. CJ’s ears are developed so he can hear my voice; he's about the size of a shrimp, or a thumb, with the head being more than half the body size. The baby is even growing finger nails; can you believe it! So small yet already getting fingernails! God’s meticulous attention to detail is astounding.

The past few days have been really good for me, my morning sickness seems to be abating (yippee!), but I am still very fatigued. I usually start falling asleep on the couch around 8:30 at night. I had been determined to enjoy ever aspect of pregnancy, but honestly, morning sickness cannot be enjoyed. Women seem to enjoy sharing their stories of morning sickness, how long it lasted, “I had morning sickness the whole pregnancy,” or “I was so sick the first 7 months.” I smile politely but think, “please don’t tell me that, I can’t imagine being sick for that long.” However, despite the ickiness, God has blessed us immensely and I try hard to not complain (too loudly) :).

Our Lil' Raspberry!

I have already run into a dilemma about eating healthy. Most days I feel nauseous therefore I don’t feel like eating, so if something sounds good I usually eat it. Monday morning I felt terrible and as I drove through Starbucks to get some peppermint tea, I saw a picture of their sausage and egg sandwich; it looked good so I ordered it. My stomach liked it and I felt really good most of the day. Over the weekend I consumed two boxes of macaroni and cheese, because the thought of eating anything else made me want to gag. I had gained a pound last week, but when I weighed myself this morning I had lost a pound. I guess even though I eat whatever appeals to me, I’m still not consuming too many calories. One thing I did learn from my Monday Starbucks sandwich is that if I force myself to eat protein (usually a home made egg sandwich) for breakfast my morning sickness is minimal and if I take my prenatal vitamin at night, I feel even better. I am ready to be done with the first trimester, my pants are already feeling tighter (I guess from bloating) and I feel fat. I want to “look” pregnant so I don’t feel fat. :)

We’ve been reading “Your Pregnancy, Week by Week” and have enjoyed learning about the things going on in my body and with baby CJ. As of yesterday I am 8 weeks and the drawing of an 8 week fetus looks cuter and more human (instead of alien). CJ is about the size of a raspberry now, growing about a millimeter a day, with tiny webbed hands and feet. Check out the link below to live videos of babies as they grow in the womb; it’s incredible!

We have our first appointment with an obstetrician April 9th. Jeremy is off that day so we can both go and we’re hoping we’ll have another ultra sound. With the baby growing so fast I’m excited to see how much CJ has grown since our first ultra sound March 26th. I can’t begin to describe how excited Jeremy is. After being so nervous and fearful about even trying to conceive two and a half years ago, he’s a different person. I guess there’s no point in being scared after baby is on the way

Baby's First Picture

Technically it's the second (we have a picture of the embryo) but we don't know which embryo is the actual one that implanted. So here is the first official picture of baby CJ. You can say it, he/she looks like a blob, hehehe. It was the most amazing thing to see that tiny heart beating away, so fast. It's almost incomprehensible to think there is another heart beating inside my body, besides my own. Let me just say, growing a baby is tiring work. I just want to sleep and when I'm awake I don't have energy to do much. I'm not complaining though, it's a good excuse to justify a nap. :)

I still have "all day" sickness. No throwing up, thankfully. It's such an anomaly for me to know I need to eat but not want to. Chewing gum is working well today at keeping my stomach settled, otherwise sucking on hard candy works too. If I can get at least 10 hours of sleep at night, I tend to feel less sick during the day.

We are thrilled to say the least; but we both will be glad to put this first trimester behind us and with it the higher risk of miscarriage. Our days and nights are filled with prayers, hopes and dreams as we excitedly imagine what are child will be like.

The Snack that Smiles Back, Goldfish.

If I were to start investing in specific stocks, my first choice would be Sprite Zero. I like it anyway, but with an unsettled stomach it helps me through the day, enabling me to eat. The mere thought of food causes my stomach to churn. Most things are repulsive, but the last few days I’ve feasted on Goldfish crackers. Today, however the idea of eating those crackers makes me feel ill. Cream cheese has been the only appealing thing this morning but I guess it’s not really a food; and definitely not healthy. Bummer.

I had a scare yesterday. After using the restroom I noticed I was bleeding. You can imagine the panic that welled up inside at the sight of red. I called my doctor, talked to the nurse who attempted to reassure me that it’s common for women taking the medicine I am to bleed. She talked to the doctor and he wasn’t too worried. Because I’m only 6 weeks pregnant, it would be too early to see a heart beat during an ultra sound. I contacted a few close friends and my mom, requesting prayer. God’s come through, as He always does. I haven’t seen any fresh blood today, but more importantly God has eased my anxiety. We have our appointment next Friday for the ultra sound, so until then we will continue to pray and trust that God is in control.

You may not believe it, but I already feel like my pants are not fitting as well as they did. While I haven’t gained any weight, I feel “bloated” and jeans are just not comfy anymore. As soon as I get home from work I change into my lounge/pj pants. :) I am pretty excited about purchasing new clothes, even if they are maternity.

"Be patient, be patient, don't be in such a hurry..."

"Be patient, be patient, don't be in such a hurry. When you get impatient you always start to worry." Do you know that song? I think it was off the record of "Bullfrogs and Butterflies." It's my new theme song for the next few months. :D

Up until today it’s been an uneventful pregnancy. I haven’t felt any different. Oh, maybe a bit of dizziness here, or a few cramps; but not like I expected. Today, one day shy of week 6, I started to feel yucky. Nothing major, yet. It did take some effort to make myself lunch and I haven’t been snacking like I usually do; but I haven’t had to make any special trips to the restroom and for that I’m thankful.

Just like I determined not to be bridezilla during wedding planning, I’m committed to reminding myself that I am not eating for two. It’s a misconception a lot of women have when they are pregnant that they are eating for two and end up gaining too much weight (you’re eating for two when you’re breastfeeding). It’s a great reason to justify extra food, and I love food, but I won’t do it. Well, I guess we’ll see. Haha! I did research on the healthy amount of weight gain during pregnancy (about 3 pounds the first trimester), weighed myself last week and again this week and so far haven’t gained anything. Yay! I try to snack healthy; fruits, veggies, good proteins and not a lot of sweets. Pregnancy brings with it cravings for a lot of women, I hope mine isn’t chocolate.

I had thought the waiting was over after finding out we were pregnant. Alas, life brings with it a lot of waiting. Good things come to those who wait right. ;) I had to wait until 3:00 PM today to get the results of my second blood test. I wasn’t as anxious as last week; but little bits of doubt found their way into my mind. What if my hormone level hasn’t increased like it should? No need to worry. Kori (IVF coordinator) called and told me they look for the HCG level to be at least 1,000, mine was (as of last Friday) 6,798! I was shocked. I asked if because of the high number we were having twins. Kori wouldn’t give me a definitive answer; “It’s a possibility, but a lot can happen between now and when you have your ultra sound.” So the waiting continues. :) Our ultra sound is on the 26 of this month. And you know, once we see tiny 8 week old baby CJ (until we know if we’re having a girl or boy we’re calling the baby CJ, or if there’s two I guess it’ll be Baby C and Baby J), we’ll be counting down the days until the first trimester is over. Then, we’ll be waiting to find what gender we’re having. I want to enjoy the ride, so I’m taking Paul’s advice and learning to be content no matter the circumstances (or how much waiting I have to do). :)

Worth the Buck

Yesterday: “Jeremy, please ease off the breaks more gently (in traffic), it’s making me sick.” Hmmm, maybe it’s a sign? “Man, I feel really dizzy.” Could it be? Jeremy came to bed around 1:30 am; it woke me up. He tossed and turned a bit to get comfortable. Let me just say, every time he moved I felt so sick. He’s settle in and I’d start to feel better, and then he’d move again. I was sure I would throw up any second. “Come on Jeremy, stop moving!” It was the first time in my life I had an inkling of happiness over feeling sick to my stomach (my greatest fear is throwing up.)

You know that sick feeling you get when you’re really nervous before a test, or when you wake up early after not getting enough sleep? That’s what I’ve been feeling all day; waiting for the fateful call. I could hardly eat or focus on anything. I asked Jeremy if he was nervous, but he said he just wasn’t thinking about it. What?! How could he just not think about it? That’s ALL I could think about. The nurse asked who they should call with the results and I said Jeremy. I was still determined to not get the results until after I got off work at 4:30pm. She told me the results would be in at 1:30pm and I figured it wouldn’t be such a long wait, from 1:30 to 4:30. Ha! How wrong I was. As 1:00 pm hit I was looking at the clock every 2 minutes. I texted Jeremy “Did they call yet?” “No, not yet.” I was in conversation with a co worker when I felt my phone vibrate at about 1:30pm. Oh my, I knew it was Jeremy. Did I want to know then? After no response from me he called and asked if I wanted to know the results. My response “Do I want to know?” He laughed; I knew that was a good sign so I said I did. For those whose phone numbers I don’t have (for the mass text I sent out) here are the results of our blood test today. (Like how I made you wait until the end of the paragraph? I’m sure you figured it out by now.) The test came back positive! My HCG level was at 226. The IVF coordinator told Jeremy they like to see it at 100, so my number was great! It sill wasn’t high enough for them to know for sure if we’re having twins; so we will have to wait until we go in for the ultra sound in a couple weeks. We are elated! I can’t wait to get home to celebrate!

I do have a confession; I took a home pregnancy test Tuesday night and Wednesday morning. Peer pressure won over (you know who you are) and I went to the Dollar Tree to pick up a couple cheap tests (I didn’t want to spend $15 only to get a negative). Jeremy urged me to take one Tuesday night, even though I told him it would probably be negative (it’s best to take the HPT in the morning). I didn’t pay attention, but as he watched, “I think there’s a little something trying to come through.” “Whatever Jeremy, it’s probably just an evaporation line.” I looked. Nope, it was definitely a pink line. Well, it’s just a cheap test, could be a false positive. I took the second one Wednesday morning and there they were again, those two little pink lines, this time darker. Could this be it! I’d never seen those two lines side by side before. We decided we wouldn’t get our hopes up until the official blood test today. We did tell our parents, however, both sets were skeptical and refused to get too excited until we got the official results (We told our siblings too). I Guess HPT’s from the Dollar Tree are worth the buck!

The most important thing is we want to give all the glory to God for this miracle! He has gifted doctors so they could help us. I am sure without all of your prayers this wouldn't be happening. We have felt so loved and supported. I had few side effects from the meds and I'm certain the prayers helped.

I would like to continue this blog to record our journey through pregnancy. So if you'd like to, we'd love you to stick around. :)

The Death of a Bumble Bee

Yep, progesterone definitely makes me more emotional. I got teary eyed over a struggling bumble bee. He was lying on his back, his little legs barely moving, I turned him over, but I’m sure he was in his last minutes of life. I cried over the story, during the Olympics, about the sled dog that was blind, but still loved to run. Against advice her owners didn’t put her down and she still runs with the other sled dogs. I really cried when I served my husband left-over’s for dinner; even though it was spaghetti, with meat balls, which he loves and said he wanted for dinner. It seems anything can set me off; recovery, however, is quick.

My mother asked me a question about the hormone I’m injecting, progesterone. How will they be able to tell if I’m really pregnant when I have this pregnancy hormone pumping through my system? I hadn’t really thought about it; surely the test would come out positive no matter what with the artificial input of the hormone. In case any of you were wondering the same thing, here’s what I found out. My good friend, Ruth, who is on a similar path, clarified it for me. When they draw the blood, they don’t look for the progesterone hormone; they look for HCG, another pregnancy hormone. I don’t know how they tell the difference; but they can. Question answered mom!

It’s a struggle already for me to give some things up; mostly control. I am not supposed to lift anything very heavy. I shouldn’t have been doing it before this, but if I needed to I could. For those that saw my Facebook status yesterday; I went to the grocery store to purchase more dog food, the bigger bags are a better deal so naturally that’s what I chose. The lovely lady at the check out helped me lift the bag; then asked if I would like assistance to my car. Crucial moment, I knew I could lift it, but knew I shouldn’t. After a moment’s hesitation I conceded. The young guy was happy to help and it’s a good thing I was asked if I needed assistance, because I probably wouldn’t have asked for it. Of course I waited until Jeremy arrived home so he could remove it from the car.

Another thing given up, caffeine, which means chocolate. The percentage of miscarriages for women who consume caffeine is higher. Sacrifice for a good cause, but man do I miss chocolate. I crave it even more now that I shouldn’t eat it; brownies, yummy chocolaty Starbucks drinks, hot cocoa, Girl Scout cookies. I guess its good it’s the Lenten season, it’ll give me double motivation to avoid the smooth, rich taste of chocolate. Sigh…

One week from today we will find out if this first attempt worked. I’m determined to have the doctor’s office call Jeremy with the results, who will then tell me after I get off work. He doesn’t work next Thursday and I do. Whatever the news, I don’t want to be at work to receive it. If it’s positive, I want to share the news with family and close friends first; if negative I’m sure the rest of my day will dissolve in tears. We shall see if my resolve holds strong when Thursday rolls around.